The United States is one of only a few countries that has not adopted the metric system. The following article takes a humorous look at the question of whether the US should adopt the metric system. Source:
http://hubpages.com/hub/metric_system_vs_imperial_system |
Metric vs. Imperial or Will the USA ever go metric?
Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to determine the
United States measurement challenge once and for all.
In the blue corner we have our current US champion for many
years, weighing in at 220.4623 pounds, our hero: Igor Imperial.
In the red corner we have, weighing in at 100 kg
all the way from France, and currently storming the world wherever he goes, our
challenger: Mean Mr Metric.
It will be a great fight today and one that may change the
course of history. Can Mean Mr Metric defeat Igor
Imperial and change US life forever, or will Igor outwit the classy opponent
and maintain his place in history.
We are about to find out.
Gentlemen, I want a clean fight. Shake hands and come out
fighting on the bell.
Round 1: "DONG"
They both approach each other and meet in the middle of the
ring. Metric has trained well and opens with the first punch:
How many feet in a mile?
Imperial answers after a moments hesitation with:
5280
"Good exchange there Bob, hasn't worried either of
them."
"No Bill, it's still neck and neck, although Imperial
took a fraction of a second to divert that question."
Imperial decides to attack with a similar strategy: How many
metres in a kilometre?
Instantly, Metric flashes back with: 1000
"Wasn't that a great counter by Metric eh Bob - so
quick. He's looking good tonight"
"Sure is Bill"
Imperial goes on the attack again with a curly one: How much
does a litre of water weigh?
Metric comes back quickly with: 1 kilogram
"Great offense from Imperial there
Bob. Combining both measurement of mass and volume - well thought
out."
"Sure thing Bill, but I think he may have left himself
a bit vulnerable here. If I can guess, Metric should follow up with..."
How much does a pint of water weigh?
Imperial reels back with such a tough one.
He hesitates.
"Thought he'd do that Bill, he's looking shaky. I
wonder how he's trained for this?"
Suddenly, Imperial's eyes light up and he comes back with:
1.0431758 pounds
"Well Bob, our champ got out of that one but it was a
bit messy eh?"
"It was Bill. I think he was lucky there. Metric should
come back with a tough one here if he's got it in him."
As Metric prepares for an offense, the champ Imperial slips
in a sneaky one:
If 1mm of rain falls on 1 square metre
of roof, how much water is collected?
"What a shot Bob! That'll hurt him."
Metric defends without a flinch:
1 litre
"No Bill, Metric has trained too well and has got too
much ability. That reply was instananeous. You know,
I think he should follow the same strategy as before and follow up
with..."
If 1 point of rain falls on 1 square foot of roof, how much
water is collected?
"Imperial is down!"
1 2 3 4 5 6 7...
7.97922 fl oz
"What an answer! Our boy's still got guts!"
"DONG"
End of Round 1.
"Bill, that bell came just at the right time. This
fight shouldn't last the next round."
"You're right Bob, but that guy from France is just too
good.
Round 2: "DONG"
Imperial comes out and slips in a gentle offense:
How many grams in a kilogram?
Metric defends:
1000
"Playground stuff there Bob."
"Yeah Bill"
Metric goes for the kill:
How many grains in an ounce?
"Uh oh. I think this is it
Bob."
Imperial stutters:
uuuhhhhmmmmmmm.
Which system?
"Oh Bill, he's answered with a question. That's not
following the spirit of the game!"
Metric replies:
All three.
"Curtains Bill. I'm sure."
Imperial responds:
Well in Avoirdupois its 437.5, in Apothecary its 480 and the
other one is... What other one?
Metric jabs:
You tell me.
Imperial falls to the floor.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
"Knocked out Bob!"
"Yeah Bill. I guess we have to get used to the idea of
a new system here in the US of A. This guy is a mean lean measuring
machine."
"Just let me interrupt you Bob, our man Leroy is down
in the ring talking with Mean Mr Metric."
"Mean Mr Metric that was an
incredible last blow there. Tell me what is that other system"
Tell you the truth, Leroy, I don't know nor care. I just
know there are three and they are all stupid.
"Interesting response there from Mean Mr Metric, Back to you Bill"
"We've just got word that the judges are going to make
an announcement..."
After final discussion, the judges have decided to declare the fight null and void due to the fact that the win by Mean Mr Metric would mean that some politicians might lose the next election.